conquering my apps one by one. harvard down, stanford on hold till tmw...next will be SF, Rockefeller, then SD over the weekend. scripps due jan 1st, sorry you're last!

somehow i can't sleep. Lust Caution was disturbing and sad, i'm glad I watched it with mr slow loris which made it feel better. It was also very erotic. met d and b at ps before the movie..they're one couple i admire a lot from afar. again, i'm glad that mr loris was there to hold my hand. i suddenly feel like the luckiest person on earth. is it possible that i can fail so many times and still be given one more chance to make things right? Thank you God, or Buddha, for what I have now.
I know why I am so awake. It's because I decided that I am not going to work tomorrow, and with this decision a huge weight was lifted partway off me. Only partway because I still have to do the work I have to do on Tuesday, and face my boss, and face everything again after this short one-day break, but I shall be content and cherish this indulgence. I seldom indulge in things like this. It weakens my resolve and discipline, but just this once in a long while I shall break my own rule.
Rest tomorrow, take the time to reply all my emails and write some more, and be with my grandmother from afar, and recover from my much-needed flu, and yes I still need to make a few important phone calls to people in the states. Pray that my grandma has a speedy recovery from her cataract operation..

1) Call antonio
2) Emails
3) Essays
4) Call maki and sy
5) Rest

there were many downs and then a slight blip upwards.

jonjon, why'd u enable xanga lock? i can't read your blog anymore!

call me a hypocrite, whatever. I get upset when I sense insincerity, especially in people whom I expect to be sincere. Say what you mean or not say anything at all. It's better than telling obvious mistruths. I won't get pissed because you are having fun while I am not. I won't get pissed if you wanted to leave early. Ordinarily I would've just been annoyed or maybe unaffected by this insincerity. But not tonight when I'm under pressure, and not after being discouraged when I needed comforting words the most. Learnt my lesson, I'm best off being alone when time is of the essence, and when there is a major exam the following morning. Wait, let me correct that. I'm best off being away from people who can annoy me the most, ie people whom I care about. ugh!