of Love and Life

It's interesting comparing how each of us grows and changes, I'm saying this with reference to both xs and ta's recent posts. I've also changed significantly in some ways. I'm happy with both where I am headed and what I am doing at the current moment. I think this is what it means to be living my life in the present. I'm truly contented with my current situation even though I know it is a long road, because I will be enjoying every minute of it! Ok, ALMOST every minute, maybe not those times my experiments fail or when I stumble upon some problem or other. But you get the gist, I am happy with my life/career/pursuit. It's everything together.

I'm also more settled relationships-wise. My outlook on relationships has matured greatly, and I am ready to commit despite adversity or distance. Because I've felt the pain of losing someone I loved, and I am still in constant fear and occasional panic about losing my loved ones to religion/illness/a prettier girl, this has made me decide that I have to have the courage to love deeply and unconditionally now, in this moment, when I am still being loved by the ones I love. When their heart or body or mind is still with me, I must cherish this time and appreciate the gift. It is the greatest feeling and the greatest gift in the world. This is a life-changing realization. With this new knowledge I feel very powerful, because nothing else matters as much anymore. I know I will always face difficulties and stress because this is the way I am, I think too much and give myself a hard time over trivial matters..but, as long as I remember to take a step back and appreciate the fact that I am here with my family whom I love and who loves me, and even when my parents are gone I will have my sister with me until we grow into old wrinkled ladies, and that loris is loving me despite being so far away... thinking about these beautiful things make me feel happy and fortunate, and my problems if any, less daunting. I believe in this unconditional love between people much like other people believe in a God...it is like a religion in the sense that it comforts and stabilizes me.

Anyway, I should update more about my research. It is very exciting. Even though my PI isn't very established yet, he works on very translational stuff, and no I did not use that word too loosely. Who knows, the drug I am testing now would be in clinical trials within the next few years...very very exciting stuff. Things move really fast in this field, which can be good or bad.

Life outside of lab....? Lab is my life and I am enjoying it. All other waking hours (hmm, even in my dreams sometimes) are spent thinking/missing loris. haha.

btw, today was payday. Although the pay is significantly less, I'm nevertheless happy. I spent 78bucks on facial products from the body shop.