CNY

I had 2 lots of DBS, one of which I sold at a profit of 177sgd. If I sell the other lot now, I'd make another 800, but I keep thinking that I can make more if I wait. I sold the first lot at 8.88. I want to sell the other one at 9.99. I have some superstition with numbers- I like them to repeat, especially in sets of 3. The price is now 8.99...one more dollar to go...which is quite a long way. But it could go the opposite direction too.

A lot of happy things this cny. Firstly, my angpow money is more than other years. I collected about 500+. My mum gave me 100, my grandma gave me 50, my cousin gave me 50, my dad's friend gave me 50, and loris' mum gave me 200. That's 450, most of my angpow money. Times are bad and other relatives gave less, but then angpows are for yi si only, anyway that's what I was brought up to understand. Still, this sudden and unexpected cashflow made me happy. I gave Ju and Bon 30 dollars each and my grandma 50 dollars. And I am going to treat my colleagues to dinner one of these days. I don't usually do something like that, but this is the custom in my lab. The people there are really generous with money, even though they are not so well off. I would say they are of average wealth, compared to my parents who are on the high average based on accumulated assets (which are sadly soon to deplete if we continue spending at the same rate and without income coming in from dad and sis). Above that high average would be the rich, super rich, and the unimaginably rich.

Anyway, I've often received treats from my colleagues, be it karaoke, dinner, lunch, teh-beng, supper...to them spending money is a joy esp if the money spent makes the rest of us happy. So nice right? Feels like a family sometimes. But, I can't bring myself to be the same as them, somehow, they are still not family to me. For eg, one of my labmates will travel from Bedok to Redhill by bus/mrt early in the morning just to accompany another labmate to work in her car, because she's a new driver. Then he will follow her home in her car, and take public transport back to his own house after work. That's super nice. Trust me the relationship between them is platonic. That's like something a father would do for his daughter, or mother for her son. Or brother for sister. What I'm saying is that the friendships I see in lab seem to be more of kinship than friendship. I try to imitate, but it has to come from inside. It really takes a lot of time with me. For example, Ju is my family, she's been with us for what, 20 yrs? alright, slightly less. She's family, even though my mum pays her. I think she loves my grandma as her own. And I'll def look out for her as if she were my own sister. My longest close friends are just a decade old. Even a decade of friendship does not yet compare to the kinship I feel with Ju. It's different. How come some ppl can overlook this difference?

Anyway, another great thing is that I got confirmation for my scholarship so i won't have to fork out that crazy sum a year anymore. I was really worried, the signs they were giving me pointed to a bleak answer. Thank goodness. This is the best and biggest angpow I've ever received during cny..

I wonder what the future holds... What I want to do now is focus on being happy, making my family happy, cultivating kinship from friendship, and doing the right thing. Life is good...